Buy Two, Win Two, says Jake

This is how I have described the Poznan non-issue for readers of ESPN FC:

Hundreds of hospital wards, we are told, have been closed by the spread of Norovirus.

But another nasty bug – the Poznan virus – is doing the rounds and has affected worrying numbers of Manchester United supporters who have gone down with distressing symptoms ranging from gross over-reaction and humourlessness to an irrational desire for vengeance.

Fortunately for those whose responsibility it is to cope with this outbreak, the cause has already been identified: lingering United anger at the Poznan-style mockery indulged in by some supporters of Sunderland, to the amusement of many more (and neutrals), at the end of the final game of last season at the Stadium of Light.

Read it in full here:

If a Manchester United supporter wins this week’s Guess the Score competition, he or she will be eligible to receive two Martin O’Neill mugs with a specially adapted design to take account of the Poznan effect.

But the rules are otherwise the same: to get two mugs free, you must also buy two, at £9.50 apiece. Postage is free in the UK (damn, that means a United winner, highly likely to live abroad and be unsure even where Manchester is, would cost Salut! Sunderland a fortune in stamps).

Over to you … Monsieur Salut’s decision will be final. Ha’way the Lads.

See the MUFC v SAFC ‘Who are You?’:

Jake asks: 'greatest mismatch in history or a shock in the waiting?'

Colin Randall disguised as Monsieur Salut, by Matt

See also: Monsieur Salut talks all things Sunderland at ESPN FC:

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Don’t wait to win Guess the Score: click here for the Martin O’Neill ‘Team of all Talents’ mug: £9.50, post-free for UK buyers, from the Salut! Sunderland Shop

Colin Randall disguised as Monsieur Salut, by Matt

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Salut! Sunderland is written, illustrated and edited by – and principally for – supporters of Sunderland AFC. The site aims to be sufficiently literate and entertaining to appeal to people who do not follow SAFC but enjoy good football writing.

18 Responses to “Manchester United v SAFC Guess the Score: five each for Rooney, Poznan?” Subscribe

  1. malcolm December 13, 2012 at 3:41 pm #

    So if a Man Utd supporter wins will it be the back of the manager’s head on the mug?

    Man Ure 0 – Sunderland 5

    PS – if any other Sunderland fan wants to go with this score I’ll let them claim the prize and I’ll buy two mugs too!

    • salutsunderland December 14, 2012 at 9:48 am #

      The handle will be inside the mug

  2. Eric December 13, 2012 at 3:52 pm #

    A point beckons. 1-1

    • salutsunderland December 13, 2012 at 4:00 pm #

      I shall go for an optimistic MUFC 3 SAFC 4 in the belief that no one else would suggest it (and I may also be right on there being seven goals)

  3. A T Hedley December 13, 2012 at 4:02 pm #

    It is so petty, those objecting to a bit of Fun from us last season must have had a humour bypass. So the lads must do the Poznan before the kick off and it will either blow their minds or jazz up their poor defence. A 1-2 win to us. Sorry hard to keep a straight face at the thought.

  4. Bill Taylor December 13, 2012 at 4:07 pm #


  5. Robert Simmons December 13, 2012 at 4:24 pm #

    2-1 win for the away team!

  6. Mark H December 13, 2012 at 7:20 pm #

    Man U 0 – 2 Sunderland. And Poznans all around.

  7. Mark H December 13, 2012 at 7:39 pm #

    Oh, and Rooney to be sent off in the first half.

  8. owen lennox December 13, 2012 at 8:23 pm #

    Happy with a draw.Sunderland score first 1-1, Man/U score first 1-1, neither team score first 0-0 happy!

  9. Ian_SAfc December 14, 2012 at 3:58 pm #

    A tough game for us obviously, especially with a lot of key players missing.
    I think in the January window we need to spend money and get a tough, talented midfielder int he style of Dembele.
    And we probably need a right back.
    Those are the desperate needs. Ideally we’d like a centre forward too. Someone like Defoe who can gel well with Feltcher. Although not critical since Sess is beginning to fire again.
    We’ll probably go 4-5-1 for this game. I’d like to see Wickham play right wing (he’s played wide for ipswich before) to give us an arial threat on set pieces. If there’s one area where Man U are vunerable its in the air.

  10. vince December 14, 2012 at 5:56 pm #

    Think we should make this more interesting and try to guess how many times we get the ball in the ManU half.

    I recall a great line in a paper few years back describing a game at Anfield where we were pinned in our own penalty area for 90 mins(but still came away with a 0-0 draw).The Journo said that Sunderland had on 0ccasion got the ball into the Liverpool half,”but forgot to accompany it.”

    My guess is it will be along that vain tomorrow…oh…3-0 to Manu

    • Joan December 14, 2012 at 6:42 pm #

      The Journo said that Sunderland had on 0ccasion got the ball into the Liverpool half,”but forgot to accompany it.”

      That’s very funny. I remember that glorious draw.

      I’d have gone for a disloyal (or realistic) 3-0 win to the home team but hoping it won’t stretch to 4, I’ll opt for 2-0 to MU

  11. John Mac December 15, 2012 at 12:08 pm #

    you’re all wrong and need to apply logic. Here it is, as for Goldy’s predictions league:

    Van Presley has not left the building and looks like he will score in every game. Rooney now hates us. So both to score. AF knows all of O’Shea’s weaknesses, so another goal there. Our midfield can’t hold back attacks, so that’s a goal there. Then there’s the obligatory poor refereeing decision to give Man Utd an undeserved goal against us. So we concede 5. However, we put three past Reading and they put three past MUFC, making 6. So it’s MUFC 5 SAFC 6.

    • John Mac December 15, 2012 at 5:36 pm #

      Ok, so I got it a little bit wrong. But I was right about Van Persie, Rooney, O’Shea and our midfield. It was just the ref let me down

      I didn’t know that Fletcher would go off at half time. Without that we’d have definitely scored 6.

  12. salutsunderland December 19, 2012 at 11:35 am #

    Good for Salut! Sunderland coffers: no one got the scoreline right (except Scott the Red in his greatly maligned Who are You?)

    • malcolm December 19, 2012 at 12:11 pm #

      Do you mean that Skott the Red’s piece was maligned a lot or it was maligned with style and panache M. Salut?

      • salutsunderland December 19, 2012 at 1:56 pm #

        Splendid pedantry (from one pedant to another). I shall leave it open to interpretation.

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